31

Date : September 13, 2009

Haaaappy Birthday FOB:) MahalKita Sweetie<3

AHA, funny how "Always&Forever" wasn't that long .. I won't forget all those things you said to me and did to me. Cause even though you hurt me, I still love you. You aren't realizing the real point in all of this. Cause you always block out the 'situation' even though I try to talk to you. Sure, your talking to me but thas not what I want to hear. I want to hear the truth. For me the truth, yesterday you really hurt me. Even though the first time was breaking up wit me but last night when I just wanted to let it all out, you just said it. I was thinking to myself "wtf, why did I even bother talking to him". But I knew I was going to be hurt because everything I do is just nothing to you. I make everyone happy but not myself. Helluh bothers me a lot though. &the fact that 'everything will be okay soon' won't even happen anymore. I thought everything would go back to normal but now, I dont think there is a chance. Aha, and I still have those messages on my phone. Why didn't I delete them ? Because I knew I should have something to remind me of you sooner or later. You walked out on me when things were rough. I dont blame you for anything because I should blame myself. I tried to get you back but you didn't let me in. It was not even worth my time. Thinking that you'll try to find your inner self and see all that is going on but now, you can't see the real meaning. Its true, I still do love you and you even know but you don't care. I dont blame you. Its your choice anyways. But its just easy nowadays to make me hurt because I break easily. Sure, crying doesn't do anything but it makes me let it all out in-a-way. I hoped, and I risk everything. I tried not to put all my hopes on "us" but I still did. Because you know why ? Because I thought there was a chance. But now, I guess its really .. over .. I missed how we used to be. I miss those times when we were still together. Sure, we had "fights" but it didn't get to us. We made up and continued on. Ate even misses those times we were being all 'lovey dove dove' together. Its also funny how the day you asked me out keeps popping up in my head. You know why I keep your stuff ? Because those are the only things that make me reminisce about those days. Do you still remember when we were together and you were still here ? All those stuff we did together. But still, no, I don't regret anything. Just the fact that I talked to you yesterday thinking 'everything will be okay' but then ended up crying. All I ask is to read all my blogs. They tell it all. I wouldn't want to tell you everything that I feel because you wouldn't care. No lie, everything you did for me was the best. Actually, you are the best. Thas why I wouldn't want to let you go. Its just hard knowing your over me. Even though Ate&Khaila&Danielle said to not give up, there is a part of me saying give up. But thas only like five percent. We were together for 9 months, 2 weeks&6 days. I actually thought we were going to make it. It was almost 10 months. Going to be a year sooner or later. This coming Saturday is the 19th of September. The supposedly '1 year' .. Aha, funny how we had plans and whatnot to come. With our relationship, I really knew what love was. I thought it was going to be true&worth it. It was. But was it true ? .. Even though we aren't together, it was. Everyone knew it was. They all knew we loved each other so much. Cause everything we told each other was the realest. I trusted you the most. You helped me out wit all my problems. I could talk to you about anything. My only wish, is that you can see the real thing im trying to say .. <3

Haaaappy 7 months BestFriend:)

September 19, 2008 @ 11:30 PM - July 11, 2009 ..