31

Date : September 13, 2009

Haaaappy Birthday FOB:) MahalKita Sweetie<3

AHA, funny how "Always&Forever" wasn't that long .. I won't forget all those things you said to me and did to me. Cause even though you hurt me, I still love you. You aren't realizing the real point in all of this. Cause you always block out the 'situation' even though I try to talk to you. Sure, your talking to me but thas not what I want to hear. I want to hear the truth. For me the truth, yesterday you really hurt me. Even though the first time was breaking up wit me but last night when I just wanted to let it all out, you just said it. I was thinking to myself "wtf, why did I even bother talking to him". But I knew I was going to be hurt because everything I do is just nothing to you. I make everyone happy but not myself. Helluh bothers me a lot though. &the fact that 'everything will be okay soon' won't even happen anymore. I thought everything would go back to normal but now, I dont think there is a chance. Aha, and I still have those messages on my phone. Why didn't I delete them ? Because I knew I should have something to remind me of you sooner or later. You walked out on me when things were rough. I dont blame you for anything because I should blame myself. I tried to get you back but you didn't let me in. It was not even worth my time. Thinking that you'll try to find your inner self and see all that is going on but now, you can't see the real meaning. Its true, I still do love you and you even know but you don't care. I dont blame you. Its your choice anyways. But its just easy nowadays to make me hurt because I break easily. Sure, crying doesn't do anything but it makes me let it all out in-a-way. I hoped, and I risk everything. I tried not to put all my hopes on "us" but I still did. Because you know why ? Because I thought there was a chance. But now, I guess its really .. over .. I missed how we used to be. I miss those times when we were still together. Sure, we had "fights" but it didn't get to us. We made up and continued on. Ate even misses those times we were being all 'lovey dove dove' together. Its also funny how the day you asked me out keeps popping up in my head. You know why I keep your stuff ? Because those are the only things that make me reminisce about those days. Do you still remember when we were together and you were still here ? All those stuff we did together. But still, no, I don't regret anything. Just the fact that I talked to you yesterday thinking 'everything will be okay' but then ended up crying. All I ask is to read all my blogs. They tell it all. I wouldn't want to tell you everything that I feel because you wouldn't care. No lie, everything you did for me was the best. Actually, you are the best. Thas why I wouldn't want to let you go. Its just hard knowing your over me. Even though Ate&Khaila&Danielle said to not give up, there is a part of me saying give up. But thas only like five percent. We were together for 9 months, 2 weeks&6 days. I actually thought we were going to make it. It was almost 10 months. Going to be a year sooner or later. This coming Saturday is the 19th of September. The supposedly '1 year' .. Aha, funny how we had plans and whatnot to come. With our relationship, I really knew what love was. I thought it was going to be true&worth it. It was. But was it true ? .. Even though we aren't together, it was. Everyone knew it was. They all knew we loved each other so much. Cause everything we told each other was the realest. I trusted you the most. You helped me out wit all my problems. I could talk to you about anything. My only wish, is that you can see the real thing im trying to say .. <3

Haaaappy 7 months BestFriend:)

September 19, 2008 @ 11:30 PM - July 11, 2009 ..

30

Date : September 11, 2009

OMG, Nine Eleven ?!

So, fourth week down and five more weeks till second term. Today was nine eleven as you should all know. At school, we talked about it in all of my classes. School is okay so far. Trying to make the best of it. Freshman year in MTHS then the rest at hopefully Florin ? We'll see. WAS supposed to take a picture with Granddaughter but we can't find each other after school and whatnot. Anyways, this week went by fast cause of Monday, the holiday ;D AHAHA ! Funny ass day huh Ate ? Yawp. It felt weird though, I thought yesterday was Wednesday xD But yeah. My classes are okay - ish ? My grades are dropping to "B's" -_- Freakin' ghey ! UGH. I have to bring them up again. Stupid teachers with ghey ass homework. Besides that, im kinda getting a long wit other people now. Eating lunch nowadays with Granddaughter, Lena and sometimes Kido [Junnel]. I made my AVID Mandala project. It's due Monday but I finished like on Wednesday. It toke me almost two hours D; But worth it ;D I can't believe people think imma pro AHAHA ! Tanks to everyone who called me a pro though. Made me smile(: Imma post the picture on my other blog of course. Check it out ? ;D LOl. Hm ... What else to say .. SOB's birthday is coming up ! Imma get him something:) Teehee, cause he deserves something ;D LOl. I don't like him ! Just saying. To all the people who think that *ahem*ATE*ahem* :D Ahaha. So, today was successful. After school, I walked to Ate's house to kick it. They picked me up like when I was almost near their house cause they saw me walking(x Then we kicked it at Toby Johnson Park wit thatonedude cause he wanted to meet me and I wanted to meet him. He's okay .. FOR NOW. We'll have to see about next week. IF he comes next week cause I have plans. AHA. So, a lot has been going through my head lately. Just thinking about what happened and whatnot. Helluh ghey .. Ate&I cried like two nights ago ? We cry now and then .. We were having our 'deep conversation' on the phone. Then she told me to go on aim but when I did, I felt sleepy so I signed off on her ass(x Teehee. Im nice, yes I know:) Pictures are on my other blog ! Go check it out ;D So, how was your week sweetie ?(: Hm .. I guess thas all ? Stay Focused&Be Positive Kids mmkays ?

29

Date : September 8, 2009

Haaaappy Birthday Ateeee !

Heeeey Ate:) Happy birthday ! Hope your having a great day ;D Wish I can be with you right now but you know, we're far apart and all =/ Hope to see you soon ? Or in the future(x Either one would be nice ! OH YEAH, Philippines 2010:) LOl. Well, I just wanted to say, tanks for everythang you did for me. You've been there for my worst times to make me smile and I know I can go to you for anythang. I love you more than ever though ! Your the best I ever had :D Ahaha. Even though we only went to school together for 4 years, those were the best. When we were in the same Volleyball&Basketball team together, fun times(: I love you forever on ! Your indescribable but for me, the only way to describe you is that your my Ate forever. Teehee. Anyone messes' wit you, hit me up and I'll fck them up for you. Anythang for my Ate ! Duuuude, you give me the best advice ever ! LOl. I know your doing good there so keep it up. Ahaha. Man, your getting old Ate xD AHA ! Jkaaaay:) Pshaw, I need to give you your birthday gift when we meet up for the Philippines ;D Ahaha. &&we need to take helluh pictures ! We haven't had a picture together in agessss ! Since like .. Basketball&Volleyball days xD LOl. I still have those pictures btw ;D You make my day every time I talk to you. Its like you know how to make me smile:) Hehe. Gosh, only if I still lived in Daly City, I would go to the same school as you and kick it wit you like everyday ! That would be nice, won't it ?;) Ahaha. Well, I guess my birthday wish for you is that may all your wishes to come true. Well, one of them is ;D AHA ! You should know what that one is. Teehee. Thas all I wanted to say so take care Ate !

I LUHB YOUS !

Sincerely, Ading<3

28

Date : September 6, 2009

Haaaappy Birthday Gdaughter !

Well, just a lito shout out to my granddaughter. Hope you had fun today ;D Yay, your 14 xD Man, you still call me old though. Ahaha. Well yeah, my day was great tankyouverymuch:) So this morning, I watched ASAP '09 [filipino thang] and the Jabbawockeez performed ! It was the shit though. Worth waking up to ;D Pwuaha. It would be helluh cool if I was at ASAP live though. That would be like worth my trip to Philippines ahaha. Well, after that, my mom, brother, lito bro and I went to Fairfield. Going to Fairfield was helluh funny xD Kuya's smartness came to him. Mom : "You need to eat more squash for your eye sight" Kuya : "Can I just eat something else ?" Mom : "It needs to be a yellow vegetable" Kuya : "Yeah ill just eat an orange" ME : "LMFAO ! That aint a vegetable, thas a fruit &especially, that's an ORANGE ! LMFAO !" OMG, funnest shit ever ! xDD LOl. He helluh failed at that xD Then we listened to Rnb the whole way xD Well, until we reached Vacaville cause nothing good was one the radio. My brother and I were singing along xDD LOl. When we reached to Fairfield, Kuya drove to my cousins house. He's good at driving now. But im still scared when it's going to be us only cause Kuya is going to act stupid. Yes, I know im nice:) Ahaha. Well, when we reached Fairfield, Khaila&I thought of going to the mall so then we asked and Kuya Johnnon, Kuya, Pita, Khaila and I went to Fairfield mall. That was cool, I got to spend time wit my cousins:) Khaila&I were matching ;D We both wore a scarf that our Tita Achie gave us from Florida. Mine was purple and her's was blue of course ahaha. When we got to the mall, we went to Wet Seal cause Khaila was going to buy a vest but instead, we ended up looking at graphic tee's and whatnot for .. 30 min I suppose xD The clothes there were helluh cute ;D Teehee. I need to go shopping again. I haven't went shopping in a while. OH, there was this one shirt that was blue, had a baby chick on it and a crack egg. It said "Fail". LMAO. I helluh loved that shirt xD But instead, Khaila and Pita picked out a Hello Kitty shirt for me ;D Khaila decided to buy it for me cause "it shouted out my name":) Khaila bought a purple ninja shirt that says "who called the ninja's" xD It was tight. Ahaha. Then we noticed that we forgot about the vest she had to get so we started looking at the other side and in front. The vest were okay-ish but then Khaila didn't like them so yeah. She also bought shoes(x After that, we got a vanilla shake. It was the bomb :D Ahaha ! But then we had to go home cause my mom said we were leaving soon. BUT, we didn't leave yet(: When we came back, we all prayed of course. My Tito Gary cooked stake and whatnot. We had like a bunch load of food ! Khaila, Pita and I were waiting for the food to cook so we decided to look at the hello kitty site I looked at yesterday. THEN, Inspiration came ! Oliver decided to join us cause he thought it was interesting too lmfao. The food was cooked so we ate, toke pictures and video's. I don't have the video and pictures cause pita and my Tita Ada toke them wit there camera's so yeah(: I ate helluh though ! My stomach was so fuuuull when I came home xD We went home like at 8 cause Sebastian was getting sleepy. But today was the funnest day ever ! Next Saturday might be the same, I hope. Teehee. Well, im sleepy. Going to sleep&get rest for tomorrow's kick it wit the F.A.S. ladies:) Stay Focused&Be Positive kids mmkays ?

27

Date : September 5, 2009

Aha .. Hilarious ..

First is first, congratulations to my Ate&thatonedude. I know his name, I just like not calling him his name xD Yes, im nice:) Tankyouverymuch ! LOl. Anyways, I just helluh noticed .. Too many couples breaking up. Like .. 4 I believe. Aha, funny, im one of them .. Actually, two for me. [But not counting one] Its helluh weird. Stupid I should say. What ever happened to "Always&Forever". It was a lie. Wtheck though .. -_- I miss the old days .. I want to go back to the way it used to be .. He made me happy. He made me actually smile. I learned a lot from him. Did I do something for this to happen ?.. I would never know .. Until something [a miracle] happens. Almost 2 months since we broke up. 'Why are all the good couples breaking up !' _Ate. I know right Ate ? .. It was so great back then. What happens next ? A LOT ; Im moving. He won't talk to me. Mama might take the 'next step'. Are my prayers not enough ? What else do I have to do to help ?.. It's just sad looking at what happens next. Actually, I don't want to look at what happens next because of course I won't like it. Just one miracle and maybe .. Things will get back its way ? "There's always a rainbow after the rain." Why aren't I seeing it yet ? *Sigh* Things are just too difficult nowadays. I look at my friends life, they have it straight forward and they make it seem easy. Looking at my life ; my family, friends, problems. Its just too hard to make it complete now. I don't want to move because im already adjusting to MTHS and I really want to stay in this house. Yeah, the neighborhood is ghey ass hell but I love the memories that happened here. I really wish I can comprehend wit him again .. I really miss him. My life is just .. Not complete without him ? He made me realize how love really feels. It felt right and I didn't want it to let it go. I was reminiscing about when he was still here and when we were still together. I was actually happy about my life and nothing bad happened. Until he left to the Philippines. I don't blame him for that. Enough about that. The big issue that is going on is about my mama. She is having a hard time. Im praying really hard for her to get better. We all want her to get better. I feel so bad for her .. She was the one who I was talking about in my other blog. Khaila&I have a terrific plan ! When we grow up, we are going back to San Pablo and re-buy our old houses ! Especially mama's house:) We had so many memories there, we just want it all back. Yesterday, we were reminiscing about the old days .. Damn, we had a lot of good times. Then this question came to our mind , "if we were to stay there. if we didn't move. would we all be more successful ?" I would have to say yes. No worries. We are all together. Even though I wouldn't have met my terrific F.A.S. group, I would be with my family. No offense, I LOVE my F.A.S. group. They made my Elk Grove days, I mean YEARS, the best ever. I didn't think my life here would be this successful. But I love it now:) I never regret anything I did here. I love them forever on. Cause they were there for me through anythang. Anyways ; San Pablo was the best years ever. Straight up. *Sigh* I guess thas all I wanted to let out. Let's just say, I would want to go back in time and fix it up. One thing I learned from my life : Live your life to the fullest and have no regrets. Make it your best and make it fun. Well, I guess thas all. Stay Focused&Be Positive kids mmkays ?

Dear God ,

Four more years please ..

26

Date : September 4, 2009

Third Week of School Accomplished.

Third week done, Fourth week coming, Five more weeks of first term and A LOT more days of school. Managing of course. So, this week was okay. I still think last week's was better:) I was supposed to make a 2 way cwalk wit Kido [8th grade, Art class nickname] but my camera died -_- AND we had like 1o mins ! UGH, stupid camera. Besides that, this week went by .. Pretty slow I guess. Finally Friday ; kicc it day ! My week of homework done and turned in. Grades are straight A's still. Hope they will stay that way. Just did a test, hope I pass. It was okay I guess. I was falling asleep though. Ugh, I need more rest nowadays. I do too much. But, worth it. High school pretty far is okay. I just need to focus on my grades than other stuff. My classes are still the same. Only second period makes me happy ;D HAHAs. You guys should know why, teehee. WELL, if you don't know .. Read my blogs and get caught up ! AHAHs. The only class I struggle in is English. Algebra 1 is okay so far. General Science is easy so far. AVID, I don't have to worry about;) LOl. GAHH, I don't want first period pe next term ! Helluh ghey -_- I don't remember what classes I have next term but all I know is that I have pe. OH, I also remember I still have third period lunch. I have three, three, four, four. <-- My lunch for the terms xD AHAHA. If we the same lunch period, hit me up though ;D Hm .. What else to say about my week .. Oh, I eat lunch wit gdaughter now. She needs someone to go eat lunch wit her. &she makes me sit wit her friends in the "Asian Table" LOl. It's all good though. Gambling involve. Of course, Asian's gamble every time. Isn't it true ? ;D I sometimes feel left out though cause they are all Viet and whatnot. But, oh well, im used to it. I guess thas all for school. One more thing, next week is Club Rush so I might join Photography Club &also on September 18 is the Freshman BBQ and after is the first football game so imma go ;D I just need to remind my parents xD Wanna come wit me ? Let's go though:) AHAHA. New Friend is ghey(x Buh nice, hehe. J&J are cool too. AHAHA. Well yeah. I make my parents happy wit my grades, makes me feel successful too. Trying to manage myself wit work and home. Especially wit my friends. Making sure I get to talk to them and hang out wit them so we get information wit each other. But have you noticed .. I don't have time for myself ? I make everyone happy and put myself last. I know, im nice:) I love making my family and friends happy. When I think about it .. They make me happy and that's all that I need. They are my life. They complete me. I love them oh so much. I can never be the same without them. Well, thas all for now. Gonna kicc it wit Ate ! &her soon-to-be Boofriend xD He is looking forward to meeting me today. LOl. Funny. Stay Focused&Be Positive kids mmkays ?

25

Date : August 6, 2009

To Prepar for the Worst ..

So, as you should know. Im moving. Imma miss this neighborhood .. I had helluh memories here. Even my friends did too. A lot of good memories mixed wit bad ones .. But overall, its sad how things are starting to fade away. I've been keeping track wit my grades and trying not to think about the past but everyday, I still do. No one can ever forget about the past. Because it happened. Even though I was sad back then but .. It felt better than how I feel now. Because I had a lot of time to tell them how much I care about them and how much I love them. They treated me so kind and they always had something to say when I felt bad. Even though I haven't been wit him for a long time, it felt like I knew him. My grandma was the best ! Even when I was lito, when I was crying, I would always go to her. Whenever something happened, I would always call her or go to her for help. She helped me through my "past times" made me feel better. She's so kind and helpful. I remembered everything. I will never forget those memories. I try to visit her on weekends wit my mom and brother but we are busy with finding a house. So now, we got a house ; I hope I get to see my grandma and my cousins more often. I miss seeing them everyday. I miss how things used to be when I was living wit them. Even though we had lito space, at least I was with them. I miss how I used to go to the same school as inspiration and Rec after school. I miss my old life. Because my old life made me realize how precious time is and that you should live it up to the fullest. Never back down cause there is always something ahead that will keep you going. Now, I see life as my own. I want what's best for me family, friends and of course, myself. Im trying to keep it together but I always seem to fail. Even at home, I get in trouble nowadays just cause of one simple thing. Its hard but im trying to manage. Im not "complaining", im just letting out my thoughts. I know, other people have harder lives than me so I shouldn't complain. Just to make it simple, if you tick me off one time, imma go off. I can't really control my anger no more. It's hard. Cause whenever im mad, I always have to hold it in. I never found anything to take out my anger yet. Probably just blogging and taking out my thoughts wit my Ate. Well, I guess that's it ? Gonna blog tomorrow of course to talk about my week. Stay Focused&Be Positive kids mmkays ?