14

Date : August 10, 2009

Today was .. Productive ?

So, today was the High School Orientation for MTHS. I walked to school at 8:45 and when I got there, the first person I saw was Madre :D &she came up to me and was glad that I was going there wit her(x BUT, its only "temporary". Cause I don't know when im moving. Its hard but I gotta adjust. Well, then I met up wit BFFAAE &Pamangkin(: Well, we went in like at 9 and started the whole Orientation. We were split up in groups but at least it was kinda fun ? Lol. Well, I was in group 17 wit Sonia, Rebekah, Joceline and others. We did different activities in the class room until 12 and then started the tour around the campus. Our Leaders were wow xD They were funny lol. No one changed though. Well, few had haircuts and such but they are still the same. But when people saw me, the first thing they asked was "how are you&josh ?" .. Damn, when I heard that, I was like .. Wow .. I wanted to cry D; Of course everyone knew cause we WERE the couple of the school. *Sigh* Those WERE the days .. Well, of course I saw BFFAAE&Pamangkin around the campus so it was all good(x But when I saw Kenji still wit Teresa .. I was like DAMN. I thought Josh&I were going to last like them .. The weird part was that some people didn't come though. Oh well, probably see them next week ? Hope so. I had to walk back and it was HOT. I was sweating and shit xD When I got home, I saw my cousin Khaila, her boyfriend and my Tito getting their stuff. But damn, I went upstairs and changed cause it was fcking hot xDD Then I went on the computer, called Ate to tell her everything and we had a deep conversation ..): &then ate, then toke a nap(: Well, you can say my day was productive. I wanted to cry my eyes out today .. It made me reminisce about those days wit him .. Man .. How I wish I can go back in time ... But no one can ever go back, just gotta wish for the best. But I know there is still a chance so im not giving up. I can do this(: Right ? Lol.

13

Date : August 07, 2009

'Cause it hurts so much ..

Im trying to forget about you but then again I can't. I just love you so much. All those memories we had , some are fading away but I won't forget the day. The day you asked me out .. Even though you hurt me so much by saying to "give up" , im never going to give up. We've been through helluh shit together and just to give that up like this ? I dont think so. I've cried helluh times cause of you but then again I love you. Everyone said you are the one for me ; Were they right ? Looking back to what we had : yes. You are the one for me, but now, I have to say "were" .. Even though we're not together no more, always remember this : I Love You. Mahal Kita. Saranghae. I know I say "I hate you" at times but deep down, I know thas not true. We lasted 9 months. 9 MONTHS. I thought we were going to last forever, but to you, I guess forever was a lie .. If you still had/have feeling for me, why didn't you try to help me save this relationship ? Why did you have to give this up so fast ? I admit, even though im going out wit someone else, I still love and care about you. He even knows that. We even talked about it ; Maybe we were just meant to be friends. Cause all I can think about is you&how we used to be. Do you think its to late ? Do you think we can fix this ? Im willing to. I love you so much. I just still can't believe your gone. I thought this love was a sure thang .. I can never erase the memories we had together. All those long walks, talks, BIG loooong hugs, &more .. I just miss them a lot. Even though those days are long gone, they aren't that far away from my heart. You said you would never break my heart but then again, you did. Why ? What was the real reason behind the break up ? I would like to know. I mean. I would LOVE to know. Am I mad at you ? Im pissed at you. But that doesn't mean I literally hate you. I know im confusing at times but you used to help me through this. Now that your gone and not talking to me, I feel lost and confused. I always try to talk to you when your on but .. I guess im .. Scared. Why don't YOU try talking to me ? Im not a disease or anythang like that. Would you ever think that ? ARE you thinking that ? IF you are, thas fcked. I've gave up a lot for this relationship and it was going well until you HAD to break it off. Yeah, I know, your going through a lot. But, would it matter if you just help out ? I admit, you caused a lot right now but im willing to help out if you want me to. I know, everyone is like pissed at you and shit but don't you ever think why they are ? Cause you made a stupid decision. Thas why. I saw a lot that I couldn't handle even though it was lito. I was pissed and I guess teared cause of that shit. Really ? You would do that ? I know, you think I moved on wit him but NO. I still think about you. You can even ask him if its true. I really thought we would make it, but I guess not. Everyday I hope something good will happen but I guess thas a fail. But .. Im willing to wait to see if a miracle would happen to me. Ateeee ! :D : just give it some time, I'm SURE he'll realize that shaawty you da best he ever had (= _Mahal Kita Ateeee<3

12

Date : August 07, 2009

Feel like venting ?

Guys are hard to understand, or lemme say "comprehend". When you tell them something important, they get all emotional and what not. Lemme just say this, its better if you talk it out than just acting like a jerk. Like really though, it makes us girls feel disappointed. When you lie, it makes us feel heart broken. When you say "always&forever" but you know its going to come out to "never", we can never forgive you for what you done. But then again .. Why do we still fall for you over and over again ? I guess when things are just too perfect you don't want to let it go. Don't you wonder why its like that ? I always do. UGH, SAB's ! Right Khaila ?(: You want to hurt them, but then again you love them too much to do such thing. You want them to die, but you can't live without them. Its COMPLICATED. Your mind says one thing but we try to listen to your heart too. Its hard to let go cause there is always something holding you back. Once you let go, everything will change. Even though change would be "better" but would you want to give up on what you had or have ? Its hard to understand at first but you have to give it some time. You just gotta hope for the best and stay strong.

11

Date : August 06, 2009

My Last Frisco Kick It Day(;

So, today was fun lol. I went to Frisco wit my mom to go kick it wit my BestFriend Christian&Danielle. Today is our Official Last Kick It D; It was sad but we had fun(x Damn. We WERE supposed to go to the Pier but they were scared we might get lost LMAO. So we just watched G - Force 3D then kicked it at Yerba Buena&Metreon. Christian came to my mom's work around 7 so we went to go pick up Danielle at her house at Daly City. We watched the movie at 11:30 at Century Theaters. It was a funny movie though ! We were like the first ones to go watch G - Force xDD It was helluh funny ! When we went in the theater we saw like NO ONE there ! We were talking helluh loud and stuff(x Then later on, 2 families came but that was it. The movie had helluh Rn B(x It was cool. After the movies, we just chilled at Yerba Buena for a while. Walked through "Memory Lane" for one more time .. ): Then off to the Arcades in Metreon ! LOL. We wasted most of our money there LMAO. But, at least we got to hang out and stuff. We didn't take any pictures this time o.o It was weird xD Maybe cause we toke helluh last time and we are tired LOL. I was supposed to make a 2 way video wit BestFriend BUT he didn't want to D: So we ended up just talking. It was okay though. I had to tell them the "truth" about what's going on wit my problem. It was hard but I finally got it out of my chest. I just need to figure it out .. I've been thinking about it ever since and I still don't know what to do. Anyways, we dropped of Danielle like around 2 and I had to get back to my mom's work before 4. I thought I was going to be late but Christian&I made it back on time ;D LOL. Overall, my day was successful but not the part when I had to think. I wish I can have kick it's like this someday soon but school is starting so it ruins it all -_- LOL. Well, that was my day(: OH, im talking to BestFriend Christian on the phone&just on the computer. Tanks to everyone who supports me in everythang, I really appreciate it wit all my heart:)

10

Date : August 04, 2009

My Day ;

Today, I got to kick it wit my BFFAAE, Ate &Pamangkin. OH, these 'fatties' came too xD So, we met up at MTHS at 11. Then we went to Pamangkin's house to give her anniversary gift that Ate&I bought for her like .. Last month ? LOL. Yes, we haven't seen each other in a loooong time D: But at least we got to see her today:) But then she had to go to MTHS for something about school so then BFFAAE, Ate&I went to the 'fatties house' to ask them if they wanted to kick it. We went to McDonald's, Starbucks, Game Stop [spent almost an hour there o.o] and then off to my house. We were supposed to go to the park after Game Stop but we were tired and helluh hot ! D: But, at least we got some good exercise xD LOL. When we were at my house, we ate, I cleaned, watched my old video's xD, played wit water in my backyard ;D, toke pictures and video's then we walked to Pamangkin's house to kick it there. We were helluh tired when we got to her house though ! OMG, we got soo tired ;o But at least we got to talk and take more pictures at her house(: We only spent like about 40 min there ? Lol. It wasn't that long but at least we got to update each other. When we came back to my house, we baked cupcakes and just went on the computer. BFFAAE had to leave at 6 so Ate&I just kept going on the computer. Then my parent's came home and Ate stayed for dinner and while my parents went to look at houses(: My day was going so great BEFORE this thing happened. I was just soo pissed though. If you want to know what happened ? ASK, im not going to post it up in public. My problems are my problems. You have to get my trust before I tell you my 'situations'. Yes, I call them b/s but of course its just life you know ? Well, Ate&I got soo helluh pissed. I was washing dishes and she was on my computer. I was washing utensils and they were sharp. I would've thrown it at something but I held it in. I just kept cussing like crazy though. I was that mad. She was scared. She thought I was going to throw it at her. Psh, I want my Ate ALIVE, not DEAD. She been there for me through everything. Anyways, that 'thing' helluh got me pissed. I guess .. Im jealous ? Damn, I can't believe I said it. I can't believe you even went there .. What happened to everything we had ? OH .. Had .. Well, I just can't stop trippin' over it cause I guess im .. Sprung over you ? *Sigh* I don't know anymore .. I mean like, I want the best for you and all but doing all those stuff ? That just goes far. I want to talk to you but I guess I don't have the courage too. I know I can do it but im just .. Scared .. Scared of what might happen next .. Wow, I guess it is true ; 'Depression' is spreading in the family .. Im always scared of what might happen next. I know, if you really love someone, you would give up something. But, I don't know what should I do .. I just care so much about you. I don't want to put you in situations anymore .. Im tired of hurting you in some way .. But, I just can't let go of you .. Everyday .. Im trying my best to forget about you one step at a time but .. But I guess I can't forget about you .. We've been through helluh situations together and its hard to let go of the person you love. This just caught my attention & Ate also thinks it relates ;

“ Guys are assholes. If you argue with him, you’re hard-headed. If you’re quiet, you don’t care. If you call him, you’re too clingy crazy. If he calls you, he says you should be happy. If you don’t love him, he’ll try to win you. When you do love him, he leaves. If you don’t fuck him, you’re a tease. If you do, you’re easy. You tell him your problems, he says you’re irritating. If you don’t, he says you don’t trust him. If you lecture him, you just want to argue. If he lectures you, it’s because he ‘cares.’ If you break a promise, he doesn’t trust you anymore. If he breaks it, it’s because he had to. If you cheat, he expects it to be over. If he cheats, he wants another chance. THEY’RE ALL BASICALLY THE SAME. Guys drink to forget about girls; girls drink to think back about the guy. When guys are in love, they become poor; when girls are in love, they become pretty. Guys can forget, but can’t forgive; girls can forgive, but can’t forget. When guys are heart-broken, they try to forget about the girl by going out with another girl; when girls are heart-broken, they try to find his characteristics in another guy. Guys wish to be her first love; girls wish to be his last"
- unknown

I just feel .. Lost right now .. I can't think straight. Its just hard for me. All this is just happening at once. I can't take it no more ! I want the old days back &how we used to be. Why can't we go back to those days ? Why did you have to give up so easily. I wanted to work it out but you just said "give up". I really cared about you and how I wanted things to work out, I guess I was just fooling myself. iPromised, I Loved You, I Cared about You. What do I get back ? THIS. ALL OF THIS B/S. That is just not fair ! But then again, life isn't fair. We never know the real meaning till we figure it out ..

09

Date : August 04, 2009

Updating Myself Though ;

AnnjeanetteLynneFortuno. May23. Filipino. Incoming Freshman. Staying Focused. A Promise is a Promise. Getting my priorities straight in life. Learning from my mistakes from the past. Im looking forward to a new start in High School, [hopefully] go back to the Philippines in May 2010 w/ Ate Leigh Anne:), &start being a bigger person and learn from all of this. My Heroes are the ones who seen me in my worse scenarios and who like me for who I am. My Family, Rawr Boo Bluhd &F.A.S. are my family. Drama is straight up b/s to me. I like to keep it clean. When it comes to parties, its 21&up for me though ;D Once you get to know me, I get loud(x Im shy but nice(: Music is my addiction. Gotta listen to it 24/7. Electronics are my bestfraaaand(: lol. I think lito kids are adorable ! [no pedo though ;D] Keeping myself in check everyday. Friends are my lovers. Gotta love them though ! Kickin' it at San Fransisco and other places. Hit me up &let's make plans shall we ?(; When I say 'I love you', I mean it. Don't play wit my heart cause I break easily. Independent though. I don't like depending on others cause you have to earn my trust before anythang. Camera whore ? Probably .. xD LOL. Jkaaaay, just when kickin' it cause I love them memories:) I love to go down memory lane a lot cause I don't want those times to fade away. Red is my favorite color. Don't ask why(x Blogspot is my favorite site to vent. Myspace is old. Aim is a must. Music is a everyday thang. Youtube is cool too. Im a cwalker. I don't cwalk everyday cause I have better things to do. AJxbaybe is my youtube account. Check out my video's ?(: Pwease&Tank Yous. Teehee. AnnjeanetteLynne is my SN. Let's talk ?(: Follow me in blogspot though ! Lol. Well, thas all for now. Kbyeeee<3

08

Date : August 1, 2009

St. Charles ;Olden Days ..

St. Charles has been the best school ever ! I've been going to St.Charles Kindergarten - 3rd grade. I moved for 4th grade cause we couldn't pay for the tuition no more): Yes, it is a private school. We had to wear uniforms and all that, but except the uniforms, it was the best school EVER(: I've met a lot of new friends and learned a lot too. Kindergarten ; Thas where it all started. I met all my friends and especially, my #1BestFriend, Christian ! We had this program and it was a dance. We were partnered up and at first, Christian wasn't my partner. Our teacher, St. Genevieve, switched us around a lot and then I ended up wit Christian. Ever since Christian told Angelina his "secret", she told the whole class and I don't remember knowing he liked me till he told me like WAAAAY later on xD Yes, I lose my memories a lot BUT at least, I remembered my Kindergarten days:) Anyways, we were like the "School Cutest Couple". Everyone wanted to hook us up but I guess we didn't want to ? LOL xD We were just Best Friends. We didn't really get to hang out as much till 2nd grade cause thas when he left): He told me that I was the only one who gave him a goodbye gift o.o LOL. Im so thoughtful ;D Ahaha. But after he moved, I missed him oh so much D; &I hoped we could see each other again AND we did :D It was a field trip to I think Raging Waters or something and he saw me then he went up to me(: Thas the only time we got to see each other. But overall, im so lucky I met him though(: Teehee ! OH, my other Main Squeeze was Tiffany Manlapaz. I miss her soo much): I haven't seen her since she moved 2nd grade .. Man, I can't believe she moved .. Danielle [my other main squeeze], Tiffany and I were like the "Three Musketeers" though ! At first, it was just Tiffany and I but then we met Danielle(: We were the best of friends. Man, I really miss the old days .. I had so many good&fun memories at St.Charles. When I look back, im kinda the same person I was. Christian and I were talking about the old days and this is what we found out ;

Christian - "Nerd" type , wanted to be everyone's friend.
Me - "Outgoing" type, everyone wanted to be my friend and I was loud(x
Danielle - Shy&Nice but still is ;D
Tiffany - Cute&Innocent:)
Arjay - "Jock" type LOL. All the girls apparently were into him xD
Angelina - "Popular" type
Julio - Rich boy xDD

We only went that far LOL. St. Charles really changed. Christian and I want to go back and visit St.Charles cause apparently, we have "our spot" where we hung out his last day. Yawp , a lot of memories .. I can say A LOT about St.Charles but I guess thas enough for now don't you think ? I don't xD But sadly im tired &thisloser called me xD

St. Charles Borremeo forever<3